How does Christmas
make you feel?
Don´t let your high expectations preventing you from enjoying the holidays.
The holidays are just around the corner and on the streets, decorations are being hung up. For many it is a time of high expectations, giving and receiving. For others a time of stress, over-consuming or not enough to give and the feeling of letting others and themselves down.
So how can we actually work with our expectations, the way we give and receive and come together for a none-judgmental, more whole-hearted, joyful and compassionate Christmas?
There are always small ways to change the way you act, that will have a great impact, if you are willing...
Emotions are energy in motion. Put yourself in the desired vibration and you let your true Christmas spirit in.
So, how do you want the holidays to make you feel, and how about family and friends, what`s on their mind?
Often Christmas is a time where we try to please each other... But maybe that is what it is all about, maybe some of us are meant to have the floating flexibility of water in our relations and others to stand their ground like a solid mountain.
As far as I remember I have always enjoyed Christmas, the sensation, the aromas, the warmth, candle lights and warm drinks with the hope of snow falling. And at the same time I guess I have never really listened to or been true to my own expectations, or never really listened to others expectations for Christmas.
One thing I have learnt over the last year is foremost to listen within, to my own expectations and to open for and listen to my husband´s and our children's expectations; what it is that is really important to them and their needs... Because when I truly know their wishes and desires, I can flow with situations and the listening, giving and receiving comes directly from the heart.
Have you ever stopped for a while to listen within, to what it is you really need, and then stayed true to your own answer?
So express your expectation, listen to others with compassion and express appreciation to recognize the good in others.
Giving and receiving without expectations.
Last spring we traveled the states for 68 days in a 8-seats minibus. We did not plan our trip but we promised ourselves to stay open for new adventures, new experiences and foremost new encounters. We experienced amazing places and nature like desert and rocks, mountains, waterfalls, Redwoods and hot springs. But the frosting on the cake; the most soulful and expanding experience; to meet wonderful new people, listen to their story and share your own, which blew us away.
We traveled from place to place and stayed 2-3 days at the most. We laid all our judgment aside, and over-and-over again we connected heart-to-heart with strangers.
We had no expectations on the end results... We had set our intention to just stay open to receive without feeling the need to repay, to experience the difference.
Which was challenging to us, as it was a new approach to experience life and connect to people in person. Instead we showed our gratitude in words and by giving them our full focus and attention.
“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” ― David W. Augsburge
So why is it important that we let go of expectations and start to listen?
Imagine us as the many million variations of snowflakes that beautifully cover the ground in white and embeds the plants in wait for spring.
For the holidays we come together with our unique qualities, different desires and carry strong beliefs and expectations from life.
But how can we ever start to give and receive whole-hearted if we never listen?
Richard once asked me; listen to me for 1 minute. And then he asked me to reflect back; re-teall what he had told me. Wow, I thought I really listen with attention, but the first times I actually had a hard time to re-tell. For me it´s a step-by-step process, like learning how to ride a bike, I actually had to start practicing my skill in how to listen.
I believe there is a need in all of us, to be heard and foremost to be listen to. And one day I wish we all, including me and you, will experience how living whole-hearted, listening and connecting to each other is the best gift we can ever give one another. Our way of being will then touch many lives, lower the expectations and the love we feel will set our vibration high.
When you start listening you start giving and when you start giving you start receiving.
So take ONE kick starting step today to aim for a more Joyful & Compassionate Christmas! 5 minutes a day, during the holidays, and you will lift that spirit of yours!
Hearing occurs when sounds reach our ears, and listening occurs when we choose to focus and concentrate on what we are hearing. Hearing is involuntary and listening includes our active choice. We decide if we are going to listen to what someone is saying or not.
Exercise: listen to a friend, partner or child with full attention and compassion, without telling them that you are. And then reflect upon how you think your action make the person feel. And how does this exercise make you feel?