Do you ever become consciously aware of silence?
I usually sit in silence on my bed before going to sleep every night. I sit in the dark when everyone else is sleeping. It is the best moment of the entire day; I am alone with myself and the tensions of the day leave me and I relax completely. There is no other time that is so beautiful and healing to me.
”Silence is the mother of all sound”
It is easy for me to float away and get lost following the seductions of the inner dialog and images that come up in my mind when every other sound has gone. Therefor I usually start by focusing on my breath and body to center myself and then I gradually become more and more aware of the silence.
,When I started meditating about 12-13 years ago I found the silence uncomfortable; almost unbearable because of how loud my inner dialog and my disturbing thoughts became. It was very stressful hearing all of this going on inside my head and it made focusing on my meditation hard for me.
The more I endured and just did my part; which was to sit there and count my breath for ex. it became easier and easier to stay focused and not get swept away by my thoughts every 5 seconds.
The more I sat there the more comfortable it became and now it is the most wonderful and intimate place I know. Here I am fully present as myself without name, form and identity; my own true nature as awareness in stillness, silence and spaciousness. All of this by sitting at the edge of my bed in the evening.
I practice meditation a lot and over the years I have noticed that my capacity to rest in the silence has grown so much. Now I am never disturbed by my inner voice or thoughts even if they are there and I get swept away by them from time to time. I know it´s all a part of my development.
I can now also sit with the awareness on silence even when there is sound around me. This use to bother me a lot when I started out; I got irritated and frustrated at my family for not respecting my meditation time. Even if respecting other people´s quiet time is important, people sometimes forget and make mistakes. I have learned to live with those interruptions and just let them go and re-focus.
We can be in total silence with no outside noise and still become very stressed from all the noise inside our own mind; the thoughts and the inner dialog can become very loud when we try to be quiet. This is very normal in the beginning but it can be very uncomfortable and stressful.
"I have a craving for silence"
So if we want to heal we have to bring full awareness to the silence and go beyond even the sounds inside our own mind. When we can let go of that then we begin to really relax and heal.
I sometimes have almost a craving for silence during the days that are especially full of noise and movement. In the car on a longer journey with the family, is one such place that can still get on my nerves when the sound volume gets to high.
This is when I insert my ear pluggs to cut the most intense sound away. I also have to breath and calm myself down so I don't get upset.
I have learned over the years to communicate my needs in advance and over and over if it´s needed. It is when I don´t say anything that it gets very troublesome.
As a coach focusing on helping people stress less in their every day lives and in a coaching session it is sometimes not what you say that helps the most; it is the pure silent presence that heals and brings out what hides inside the heart of the other.
In the silence is where I relax and recharge; where I merge with the one reality. It is truly healing and beautiful.
"Rest in silence"
Start by focusing on your breath and become fully aware of how it moves in and out of your body all by itself. Do only this for a while until you become fully present of it. Then you shift your focus to the silence behind and around everything. Hold your focus on the breath still but start to become aware of the silence. Then expand that awareness and finally let go of the breath and be only in silence.